It’s Just Another Manic Monday – Building a Ladder

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It’s Monday – the start of a new week. I don’t know why, but I feel so much extra pressure on Mondays. Like how productive I am today, sets the tone for the rest of the week. Today I’ve been semi-productive and considering that I didn’t sleep well last night, and I woke up with such horrible joint pain, I’m going to consider that a win. Today I am trying to #BuildALadder  – a term created by one of my favorite Youtubers, Martina (of Simon & Martina / Eat Your Kimchi). Martina has EDS and understands that the reality of chronic illnesses means that some days are better than others. Sometimes, you need to try harder to accomplish what you need to, or accept that you’re going to have to find victory in the small things, change plans, or adapt to however you might be feeling that day.

I love the idea because it’s a good way for me to remind myself that every day cannot be perfect. I might have twenty things written down on my to-do list for a particular day, and chronic illness might have other plans. To me, it’s about adapting to my reality – which is often fluid and that means I can’t always plan ahead. The idea of building a ladder helps to remind myself that every day is different and we have to find our victories where we can!

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You might see that we haven’t been posting very often lately. It’s primarily because we’re both in Grad School and we’ve had rather challenging semesters so far. For me, the biggest challenge has been my health. Trying to manage school demands in a body that doesn’t always seem to get the memo can be frustrating. There are days where the nerve/joint pain is so bad that typing is just too difficult. Or a migraine keeps me from getting anything done. Chronic fatigue and insomnia often mean that even the little things can be big challenges. When I can’t be as productive as I want (or need) to be, it frustrates me. It amplifies my anxiety as I start to worry if I’ll meet deadlines or ever get it all done. I worry that I’m not doing enough. I worry that I’ll never be able to.

I’m not writing this to try and make anyone feel sorry for me. I do my best to #BuildALadder and get through every day. But I wanted to explain why things might be a lot more quiet on the blog until the semester is over. I’m also writing this because going forward, I want to be more honest here with my reality.

I’ve always been a fan of the internet. I read blogs, I watch YouTube, and I’m on Instagram and Twitter way too much. But something that I find frustrating is the lengths to which people will go to try and make their lives seem completely perfect. I don’t find it relatable. I want real content – I don’t want people that only ever show the good stuff, while glossing over the harder bits. I can understand the appeal, but for me personally, I find that content like that ends up making me feel shitty. It makes me feel like I’ll never compare or stack up – that I’m just not good enough. I roll my eyes when I watch a YouTube video and someone is saying how they worry that their content is “too boring” because they showed real life bits. Life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows!! That’s okay!! More and more, I find myself drawn to people who have more of a balance between the nice stuff, and the “real” stuff. Those vlogs that you worry are too boring?? They’re probably my favorite!

My point (yes, I think I have one) is that I want to talk about my real life more on this blog. We started this site as a way to write about the different interests that we both have, and we enjoy doing that. But I want to expand our focus a bit more to include other things – real life things that matter to us just as much. In all honesty, it sort of frightens me to be transparent and talk about things like chronic illness – it makes me feel a bit vulnerable. But my life isn’t just books and TV – there’s a whole lot of other stuff in there too.

So long story short – be patient with us. We’re still around, just super busy right now. When this semester is over, we have a bunch of posts planned and we can’t wait to dive back in! For me, writing is a creative outlet that keeps me sane. I miss having the time to do it on my own terms! In the meantime, feel free to follow us on social media –

Tina – TWITTER, INSTAGRAM

Missy – TWITTER, INSTAGRAM

Oh, and if you like anything you’ve read here on our blog, you can always Buy Us a Coffee! 😉

and one more thing…. #SAVEODAAT!!!

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In a 90s Kinda World, I’m Glad I’ve Got My (DVDs): Physical Media in a Digital Age

I’m a creature of habit. In most scenarios, I don’t like change. Change taunts my anxiety and makes me feel threatened, uncomfortable, and like I have lost whatever control or trust that I might have had. I love a good routine and dependability. Knowing that I can trust a certain aspect of my environment to be consistent is incredibly valuable to me. When I turn on the television at night, I take comfort in seeing The Golden Girls, or Frasier on my screen. Not only are they funny and entertaining, but they’ve become reliable aspects of my routine. I enjoy watching my sitcom reruns, but more than that, they keep me company late at night when I often struggle to find comfort, or sleep.

I’ve always had a pretty dysfunctional relationship with sleep – I remember as a kid closing my eyes and thinking, OK, if I fall asleep right now, I can get five hours of sleep before I have to get up for school. I got in trouble for reading in bed by the light coming through my window, or seeping in my room from another You’ll ruin your eyes!, my mom would scream. Check mate mom – I’ve worn glasses for years (though, I DON’T wear them for reading). I used to love going to sleepovers at my maternal grandmother’s house because she was a night owl. We’d watch I Love Lucy together, or The Golden Girls. We’d head to the grocery store at midnight, cruising around and stopping for DIY sandwiches in the car made from the deli and fresh bread we had bought. Sometimes I wonder if I’m not as much an insomniac as much as someone who just isn’t meant to ascribe to normal sleeping patterns. I’ve come to realize it’s sort of a family thing – my aunt, mother, and sister are all night owls. The difference being for them, is that they can all fall asleep quickly. Me on the other hand, not so much.

Which brings me back to my beloved sitcoms. I welcome their company every night because they’re so familiar. Often times, I find myself lying awake not simply due to insomnia, but because of painsomnia. My joints, nerve pain, or some other discomfort like to keep me awake at night. So having Rose Nylund, Roz Doyle, or even Lucy and Ethel to hang out with me is a nice comfort. But come October, I find myself at a loss because Hallmark likes to go crazy for Christmas and removes their overnight sitcom reruns in favor of their Christmas movies. So I surf around looking for other sitcoms to take comfort in. Luckily there isn’t much of a shortage, and I am grateful that multiple channels air them. During Christmaspalooza, I’m often watching The King of Queens, Friends, Everybody Loves Raymond, The New Adventures of Old Christine and others.

Christmas has come and gone, and generally, the start of January means that Hallmark goes back to their regularly scheduled programming. This year? Not quite. They’ve changed the schedule, eliminating shows, extending some and reducing others. This creature of comfort was not happy. But I’m not writing this just to bitch about how a television network messed up my routine (although, they did and I’m not gonna lie – I’m bitter about it), I’m writing this because it got me to thinking about a larger issue that has been on my mind a lot recently: digital vs. physical media.

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